See you in Hell

I feel as if I’ve lived a hundred years,
It seems that I have aged though all you gave.
I now relate to sad songs poets sing
and drop a tear or two when couples split.

I feel as if there’s nothing else to wreck me,
All pass by me, and no one seems to see
how lone I feel, how deeply suicidal
my thoughts do get, how hard it is to breathe.

I feel as if I’ll never see your face,
As though my lips will fail to open up.
I feel as if a bullet penetrates and in and out
and in and out...

I feel as if I never held your heart,
It seems we never shared a drink or two,
I am forgetting how you smell and kiss,
I am stopping feeling. Will I ever miss?

I feel as if I’m done living for good,
as if all lessons learnt are understood.
I am forgetting how and where we stood.
I can’t hold on, my heart has turned to wood.

I cry to sleep, I shut my screams with clothes,
I smoke to breathe, through lungs I let you go.
You are the face that my past used to have.
I might be grateful. But still. See you in Hell.