Die for you

I love this song by Weeknd. That's all. I will never die for anyone...I hope. It is so stupid to promise someone to die for them, especially an object of pure romantic interest, usually one we have no stroy with yet. Neither do I support dying for children or parents. I don't support dying all together. True, I am very cynical about death. I need to discuss this matter at a therapy session, I know, but probably this is because I saw the face of death too early in my life. I was 11 when my beloved aunt started to die literally in front of my eyes. Luckily, they sent me home that very moment, but still. And just a year later my cousin died in front of my eyes. They did not send me home in time this time. Vice versa, they had called us because we lived the nearest to them. I was 15 when my classmate died. before that I had always thought she was the luckiest girl on Earth- her father always used to take her to school (me too, at times), she could score high at tests without studying, she was slim and popular. But incidentally and accidentally, literally and figuratively, I became the lucky one in an instant. The very instant her mother told me "Thanks God, my daughter is dead now, and does not suffer from exams, like you do". I felt the luckiest girl on Earth. Death is inevitable, but sometimes predictble. I don't imply astrolgical predictions, no. When I was a teenager, many of my family members died accidentally, without warning. My immunity to death became savage. And those recent years people around me started to die with a prior warning - cancer is such a thing. And also, 13 years ago I finally acknowledged the fact that I have a weird quality of feeling death and pregnancy. I am besties with death now. I smell it, I hear it, I feel it. It comes with a warning. It gives me time to adapt. And guess what? I will never die for anyone! I'd rather focus on the people I'd live for! Merry Christmas!