Take Your Time

It is so absolutely crucial to take Your time. Our time. There is noone, but you, you - happy, you - desperate.
As I turn my laptop on, I look into the sky, I open the magazine page photo sent by my editor, read about that gorgeous painter whose insights open a whole new world to me, turn the beautiful cello music on and I take my time -  here and now. My fingers start struggling against the keyboard, running faster, and faster, no time for a coffee sip, no time for Facebook notifications, no time for even Tchaikovsky's Waltz for the Flowers, I am gone, I have taken my time and disappeared. And I see from beside how my body is still sitting in the armchair and how my long nails take me to rage every time they make my typing uncomfortable, and I see my head swaying in the rhythm of the music,my face is so bright, my eyes are closed, but I secretly follow the screen, and a dim smile crosses my lips as I see every letter is typed correctly. The music changes, the tempo changes, a sip of water, a thought of life, and Euphoria's gone. Time was taken. I am back now.

Vulnerable

We are all just scared to be vulnerable.
We wear the masks, seem ignorant, behave irrelevant with one and only aim not to show our inner child. Because once it comes out, we are not perceived the same we had been before. We are like naked in public.
And only the special ones who we trust more have the privilege to see our vulnerability. Does that matter? A question for time to ask...

The Good, the Bad, and the Crazy

Noone is flawless: we just choose to cope with the flaws of the beloved ones only.
Every time I feel I have an absolute friend, a flaw shows up, it might have the face of a rude remark, an accidental gossip or a secret that was expected to be shared with me. And then there is this dilemma- to fight or let go.
Fight hasmany faces. I have done one fight with a close friend not to lose. I just disappeared from the life of the person, knowing it would make us even closer when we make up again. At the edge of losing forever we found out each other, thanks to Life, and since then nothing is strong enough to split us up. We tried being without each other - one month was the maximum we could endure.
It is easy to get mad and send your closest friends to hell at the moment of rage or hurt,but is itworth all the life you have shared till then? Who will gain from loss? None.
Yesterday at a party one greatcomplete stranger was talking about friendship and said "We are capable of changing a lifetime friend with an hourly acquaintance, it is our essence.But one needs to cherish any friendship and work on it. The message of the conversation was "everything needs to be talked over". I could  not have agreed more. After being the initiator and supporter of sending my closest friends to hell I have understood one thing; If I decide or life makes me choose someone as a friend I need to take the full pack of the person, including the good, the bad, and the crazy, and always remember that my full pack is not less difficult to handle.
Working on relationships, talking matters over, not giving up, not being weak- my new working points.

Photos too precious to be shared

Checkins and taggings, comments and likings....photos to brag...photos to impress...photos to motivate...
In this year of faking a life on fakebook(c), sharing love and hatred on timelines, we still have photos depicting emotions too precious to be shared, even if they show the best of us. Photos of the most memorable moments are too important to be publicized - sometimes, there are so powerful that we are afraid to look at them too many times and for too long, dreading the fear of taking the charm.
Yet, at the moments of ultimate pleasure and soul satisfaction, we just close our eyes and take a screenshot of us at that moment to keep in mind and heart all those comforting senses to remember them at the times of feeling useless to ourselves.

The Look of God

The look of God is in your eyes, in the eyes of my parents, of my beloved man, of my best friends and worst acquaintances. the look of devotion, the look of being there for me is there to remind me God is Love, and it is in Practice that works. God is the strength my mother gets to support me when I am desperately childish and vulnerable. God is the patience my best friend possesses when I am at my worst and show the evil I do not actually have a lot. God is when my students spare me their love and appreciation and when I realize I am absolutely happy and successful in my career. God is when I hang out with my dear people and see my happy look from aside. I am happy to have God around all the time. God has no religion. God is Love. God is Life.

On Motivating and being Motivated

It is the absolute pleasure of life- to see the sparkle in people's eyes, to realise you have been a change, you have inspired, you have been noted. Teaching the language, or time management, showing your weaknesses and strengths, being committed and flexible- whatever is needed in the moment that motivates.
My motivation are those motivated by me. Motivation is a round way process. Money can motivate, too, and let us be brave and admit it is a big motivator. But most of all love motivated- love that is disguised in little gestures: the art of doing small steps and the art of noticing the latters.
My motivation is never the destination, my motivation is the process.

Farewell to My Mirror

You are My Mirror, My Opposite, My one and Only, My Dream Man. But it was you who fell in love with my wit and gave up on me because of my wit. It was you who supported me to be better and gave up on me when I became my best. It was you who changed me most, it was you, my unintended, my scratched mirror, who made me feel so special and loved and abandoned.
I had never believed in love at first sight, but it was all before I met you.
I had never been obedient, but it was all before you tamed me.
I had never been weak and available for the opposite sex, but it was all before you slaved me.
You confessed I had you from the first glance, but you confessed also that the first thought you had was that I was not "Your size". Whose size am I then, if not yours, My Dream Man.
You gave up on us too early, you never believed I might be soft for you, even when I was my softest.
I am giving up on us, after having tried to give up for some 3 years now, wish me well, and let me go at last. I am tired of be pulled back every time you see I really move on.
I know I will marry soon, I will marry a very decent man, who will not be mine from the first look, who will not tame me, who will simply think I am Right His Size, and only I will know My Size is still lonesome as ever and praying for me.
Let us Be Happy, My Mirror, Simultaneously, not together.
It took me maturity to realize You can have the strongest Love ever, yet never be together. Let us be happy forever, My Mirror.