The Look of God

The look of God is in your eyes, in the eyes of my parents, of my beloved man, of my best friends and worst acquaintances. the look of devotion, the look of being there for me is there to remind me God is Love, and it is in Practice that works. God is the strength my mother gets to support me when I am desperately childish and vulnerable. God is the patience my best friend possesses when I am at my worst and show the evil I do not actually have a lot. God is when my students spare me their love and appreciation and when I realize I am absolutely happy and successful in my career. God is when I hang out with my dear people and see my happy look from aside. I am happy to have God around all the time. God has no religion. God is Love. God is Life.

On Motivating and being Motivated

It is the absolute pleasure of life- to see the sparkle in people's eyes, to realise you have been a change, you have inspired, you have been noted. Teaching the language, or time management, showing your weaknesses and strengths, being committed and flexible- whatever is needed in the moment that motivates.
My motivation are those motivated by me. Motivation is a round way process. Money can motivate, too, and let us be brave and admit it is a big motivator. But most of all love motivated- love that is disguised in little gestures: the art of doing small steps and the art of noticing the latters.
My motivation is never the destination, my motivation is the process.

Farewell to My Mirror

You are My Mirror, My Opposite, My one and Only, My Dream Man. But it was you who fell in love with my wit and gave up on me because of my wit. It was you who supported me to be better and gave up on me when I became my best. It was you who changed me most, it was you, my unintended, my scratched mirror, who made me feel so special and loved and abandoned.
I had never believed in love at first sight, but it was all before I met you.
I had never been obedient, but it was all before you tamed me.
I had never been weak and available for the opposite sex, but it was all before you slaved me.
You confessed I had you from the first glance, but you confessed also that the first thought you had was that I was not "Your size". Whose size am I then, if not yours, My Dream Man.
You gave up on us too early, you never believed I might be soft for you, even when I was my softest.
I am giving up on us, after having tried to give up for some 3 years now, wish me well, and let me go at last. I am tired of be pulled back every time you see I really move on.
I know I will marry soon, I will marry a very decent man, who will not be mine from the first look, who will not tame me, who will simply think I am Right His Size, and only I will know My Size is still lonesome as ever and praying for me.
Let us Be Happy, My Mirror, Simultaneously, not together.
It took me maturity to realize You can have the strongest Love ever, yet never be together. Let us be happy forever, My Mirror.

About my Best Friend

I have had so many best friends and friends and acquaintances, who were worth and nor very much.
It was different this time.
Could not track how it happened but I woke up one day realizing there is a big Sun in my Life called Panda.
I clearly remember the time you mentioned how people never realize and acknowledge and appreciate your devotion, and it was the moment you went straight into my inner child's heart. I seldom get pampered with the feeling of being appreciated for my devotion. But with you I am sure, I am. Though you are my biggest critic, you are my biggest fan, and thank you for it.
It was funny how we went though all the days- weird to talk to someone every single day and still have something to learn.
I love the way we communicate- saying no masks means saying nothing. Sure, we both have a couple of secrets, still I am more than sure we have both shared this much with noone and hardly ever will.
We have built our friendship on cappu and cinnamon, Merlot and Ceaser salad, posh restaurants and shaurma, motivation letters and applications, my dramas and your tolerance, your bitchiness and my understanding.
I remember all many times your shoulder was there for me to cry on, you remember all many times my eyes were there to support your shitty and gorgeous writings- we grew together, we overcame together, we had so much fun together. We have overcome some of the most important phases in our lives together, still at those time we never noticed it.
Sometimes we both hate each other, just for a short time, that is when we fuck up and feel proud of our stubborn asses and proud selves. Still, none of us ever went to bed knowing the other is hurt or lonesome or needs her/him. And in the long run we have been the biggest supporters of one another, the best friends, though we both  avoid this word so much.
With every episode we watch, every meal we share, every photo we send my cloud grows bigger and bigger, and if for some reason we will not be there for each other I want us to remember all the fun we had and thank God for having one another around.
I hear your heartbeat, Sweetheart, and always will. Forever!
Thanks for being so special, for never letting me down, and for meeting all my super high expectations.
Live you, my Best Best Friend ever!

The Beauty of the End

People come and others go.
We make life, and that is all.
Ain't no other game to play
Than to give and take away.

Once so close, do people part,
Once unknown, do feelings rush,
All that's mine is all you gave
All I shared with you you spare.

Jealousy with love and hatred,
Expectations, still, never met
All that's mine is all you leave,
It's the beauty of the end I feel.

Noone owes me any hope,
I have paid my dues on time,
This was mine, and then it's gone,
Life goes on, new ones will come.

Mutuality

If I have chosen you to share some fun,
Make sure to pay back the time I set gone.
If you have me by your side every time,
Make sure you are there when in need is soul mine.

I am such a bad one, once broke, never healed.
If I waste chances, you're gone, never cared.
I give you my best, wanting in return.
Meet my expectations, or simply move on.

I am not that rich to blow off my love,
If you feel my warmth, be sure to pay off,
Since at that drastic moment my heart breaks apart,
You'll be noone to me, not the first, not the last.

I am used to getting and losing, I enjoy letting go,
I am strong enough to move on. Are you too?
People mean nothing. It's relationship I love
And if we fall apart, be grateful for more.

Parallelly

I am texting, he is sleeping, she is drinking coffee, they are dreaming.
Life is so rich in its chances. We all have equal opportunities- according to our merits and capacities. Just some of us seize every vague one, and some of us blow every fantastic one. Yet, many many things happen at the same time.
I usually remember this simultaneous reality on a plane, but this time I remembered it because I felt me and my precious friend doing the same thing at the same time without sharing the important news- we were thinking of each other.
My friends are so interesting. One of them tells about her newly born kid only, the other shares her wisdom, the third just demands my constant existence, the forth wants me there for hanging outs only. But they all have their parallel moments of living, the ones connected with me.
It has always been interesting for me to stop for a second and realise how many things might be changing at that very moment- time is so powerful.
Time is powerful indeed. It changes out value systems, relationship bonds, job preferences, and everything parallelly, without even reporting to us.
The parallel reality is there at every second, and I can but notice and feel the changes they bring to the ones precious to me.
And yes, I wanted to mention the parallel love I give and get during my teaching. This subconscious bucket of devotion always coming back to me is another parallel reality. 
We do not need to utter everything, some things are felt with the heart. Sorry for crappiness.
Just notice the parallel reality and enjoy the subconscious energy flow.