Victory Song (Dedicated to the Armenian Velvet Revolution)

I did take my step, and we did it, We walked all together so long, and we fixed it. And the hope that ignited our pupils Turned to lighthouse to guide through the darkness. We made a history, we struggled against evil, We demolished the castles of false witness, And as “I” turned into “we”, and “we”-into future, We revived, we stood up, we walked on. It’s with honks and free speech and pot banging That we claimed our right to live well. And the youth that used love as their weapon Could make all take a step and rebel. I did take my step, and we won it. The people got free in the end. We walked much through deep dirt, still we made it. The right wins, the light wins, as we live. The velvet love and compassion, no hatred Made us go through the dark and still make it. The revolution was kind, warm and emerging, And love made relovution so velvet.

April 30th
Yerevan, RA

People in my life

I love people, and I love being with people. I love talking to people. I love listening to people. I love inspiring people. Because this is what inspires me.
All are teachers, all are mentors. There is no one we meet by chance, there is no talk we have by accident. Our relationships are a big jigsaw puzzle we try to finish, but there is always this one piece missing.
People in my  life are many in number. I am sociable and talkative, so one needs to be either very rigid or absolutely stupid not to befriend me. Sometimes  I feel wasted, and it is when I give up on a person and move on.
My "true" friends always express their disapproval of me having so many "untrue" friends, and this is because they care for me, they want my good, and they don't want to share me with undeserving people (which does flatter the little insecure child in me). But they also know I am an altruist and I always find something good in everyone, and there is always something to learn from everyone around.
I always say "I teach grammar and vocab, you teach life". This is valid.
But I want to mention how important our relationships with "passers" are. They show our true intentions and bring-up. they show our morality and priorities. When we know we will never see the person again, that one time we talk is important. It shows what we are. I always say morality is what we do when no one's watching, thus no one's expecting a peculiar behavior. But it feels good when we meet each other's expectations. And it is cute when people's eyes shine as they hear your name or see you by chance.
I love the talks. The talks over coffee or something stronger. I love the silence. Silence defines closeness. Silence is not ignorance, silence is comfort. Looks add up to this.
People come and go, some of them go when we least except, most of them come when we most need- the traffic never stops. But still, there are the ones who make us, the ones who are our grounds, our clouds, our moons, our ones. Feeling the love they spare is really important. Being appreciative is a must. Because people in our lives make us, they chisel us, they shape us, they are us. This is why they change with us, for us, because of us.

About having faith

Faith is the answer to every question. Faith in yourself, faith in relationship, faith in humanity, faith in your rightness, faith in your morality, faith in God.
Everything is not just easy, but right, when you have faith. When you have the faith that you are where you need to be, and everything goes the way it should be.
But above all, it is important to think well before acting, as it is not that difficult to project the next five developments and make a choice on how to act now. When you have faith what you do is right, nothing can make you tense or embarrassed.
When you have faith in people, that they treat you well, or will do, it is easier to love, and trust.
When you have faith in life, in the balance, in the harmony, in God, in other words, you stop blaming everyone and everything, take responsibility and build your life.
And people who have faith in you come and surround you, because your Faith told you you have earned it.
I have faith in you, in me, in us.
Just because I have the faith we have earned it.

What not eating meat for 30 days taught me

It takes 30 days for our body to fully digest and cleanse from any meat. So I took up the challenge for an experiment. I wanted to see what changes in me, who had meat for two meals at least, who swore on Oxford Dictionary and Shaurma, who worhsipped chicken breast and KFC bites.
So, it was very rewarding. Of course, it was most difficult at family and friend dinners, when you do mot want to shout about depriving yourself from your favorite foods, but there where meals I ate nothing at, because every single dish contained some meat.
Because I took the challenge following my inner call, I had no psychological or mental difficulties controlling my appetite, but I had physical ones - I was never satisfied by the food, I was hungry most of the times (I also do not consume bread). And I was stupid enough not to add protein additives to my diet.
Still, the results are self-explaining. I am far less stressed out, I have more energy (I literally burst  with energy when I come home at 22-00 after having taught the whole day. I take a lot of things easier, yes, even Yerevan traffic. I am more understanding, less demanding, and less dealing with ****ting )))
And it is so good that not a single vegetarian friend pushed me, opposite, every one was like “You wanna eat, do”,  but as for now I really do mot feel like.
The brain also works faster, because I eat a lot more nut snacks, a lot of colorful veggies brighten my mood.
Did I mention I saved quite a lot of money on my meals outdoors which where cut by 60% in the cost, because this is the meat price, the meat which is of unknown quality?!
Moral of the story- meat makes us less energetic, more stressed and poor. And humans are not meat-eaters origninally, so this explains a lot.

What driving 10 000 kms has taught me

They say one learns a skill after practicing for 10 000 hours, and my driving instructor said it usually takes this much kilometers to become a relatively decent driver, not an "usta" though.
Now, once I have passed the border between a freshman and a sophomore, let me note down some of the lessons I have learnt:
1. When you drive you look at your three mirrors more, than you look through the windshield. This is because it is the danger from behind and around that hits us, not the one right in front of our eyes.
2. Listening to music while driving is crucial, and it does set the pace and the speed as you go. But you should shut the radio down, when there is someone next to you and listen to this someone. This is respect and safety.
3. At the crossroads, people will check you out- some for chatting you up, the others for seeing if they can overtake you. You need to smile like a Sphynx and apply your hand cream. Never be caught in a chat under the red light.
4. You need to fuel your car...systematically, with good quality gasoline and oils. This keeps your car engine going.
5. Some people obtain the license to drive, while others go take exams. They all learn the same things - some in the right way, the others-in the long way.
6. It is after you have a couple of minor accidents that you actually feel the parameters of your car, and learn how to distinguish the good driver from the bad one, as well as to defend yourself.
7. Never trust the signs peer drivers give - they may go to the right while flickering the left turn light, as well as move the car without a prior note. Not mentioning unforeseen stops.
8. One needs to keep their car clean of litter, wash it from time to time, decorate, make changes.
9. Do not compare your car with other people's cars - yours is the best, trust me.
10. If you want to know how important your car is, just do not drive it for three days.
No, this was not about driving and a car.

11. It is a sign of aristocracy when you respect other peoples’ cars, park and drive keeping the distance, do not honk at any uncomfortable situation, give sign before changing your route and turning.

Nothing

If I was diagnosed with cancer, if I had an accident and died just tomorrow, there is nothing I would like to do before I die. I have noone to say I love them, I have no apologies to make, there are no places I dream to visit. I have done all of these. I have paid all my dues. I do all as I consider right. If I want to talk, I do. If I want to block, I do. I am deeply convinced I treat people right. I try my very best to be maximum moral and minimum mutual.

And I fully enjoy every minute,
every glance, every look, every drawback.
I do all that pleases me, I say all that fills me in
I live my life with no regrets.

And if I die tomorrow, be happy,
Because happy was what I always felt,
Spread on me cinna and bury me,
Make my people dance to the rhythm.

I lived a good life, with all that had made me,
I gave love, felt so good, hurt and cured,
No regrets, no changes, no goals,
All is good, Life rewards as it goes.

All the disappointments and pains and heartbreaks,
I let go, I forget, I won't hurt,
All that comes to me is what I paid for,
What I earned, what I craved, what I cared for.

Nobody is secured from a surprise death, and today, as I was watching a play about it, it occurred to me, that I have nothing to do before I die, absolutely nothing, because I make sure I do all till I am alive.

The dance

I had always loved partying, but had given up doing it so much. Maybe because I thought I was old for that, or maybe because I preferred driving rather than drinking.
But that night I knew I needed to go party. I was committed to get drunk.
So I emptied the first doudou into my stomach. Nothing.
The second.
Nothing.
The third.
Gives hope.
Ok, I agree to play that game of checkers with shots instead of figures. I eat one figure, then second, then third, I lost number of counts.
Did I mention there was this guy who came with a friend and three girls while I was in the toilet checking why I was not drunk yet? So he sat in the neighboring table with his back to me. During the same show there was an auction for a blue cocktail the barman made in front of us. He has bought it for me. I was sipping at it.  Then he gradually turned to be on the same level with me, and we peered during the show games.
Returning to the checkers. He was playing them too. Parralel to me. Couldn't track how drunk he was. But we started dancing..All together. Everyone was dancing with everyone, but somehow I ended in his tight arms when the slow dance came (I hadn't seen it coming, tho).
He was hesitant adn cautious first. One hand on the back, the other holding my hand. But after a couple of moves we ended on each other's shoulders. Comfortably. Silently. No questions. Nothing. We were both drunk. We just danced well. Everyone was looking, and then he said (he had been giving me instructions how to move all the time, so that we synched);" Now I hug you hold you up and spin". I laughed. Did not think he was serious. But he was. We spinned once. I held my head back and folded my knees up behind me. a couple more rounds. I felt the moment. Wow! He was strong ;-)
Then we ended up cheek to cheek. Then he left the room, and I left the club. Don't know how it would have ended if we talked after. But I knew, somehow felt that dance was all we needed.
I smelled his perfume when I came home, and decided not towash it away.
I felt his cheek hair on my cheek for a day aftrerwards.
I felt his tight arms. I felt his closed eyes.