The importance of having said

Time takes us where we belong. Temporary and permanent..all settle in a box of chess figures.But the beauty remains. The beauty of the moments. When all Is gone, the only thing that makes us feel soothed is the feeling of havingsaid all we should have, having treated people the way they deserved, the kindest possible, the most human and moral possible...
Might be, it is because I am a linguist and a journalist and I literally play with words, but it is super easy for me to say the words people need years to utter. I am the one who said her former special one how impressed she was when first had seen him, the one who told her dad he was wrong in his most crucial decision, the one who constantly reminds her mom how she overcomplicates everything. I am not afraid of saying toomuch, I am happy to have said what I needed, felt like, wanted.
Never afraid to lose people, but afraid to lose them without having said all they deserved. There is nothing more intolerable for me than losing someone I love without having done my best to make them happy, whoever, however.
Dear beloveds, this is why I spare words of love and appreciation, not because I am a Drama Queen, not because I overreact, but because life serves us all shit, and I want to do my maximum to make sure I have treated you right, made you feel how much you mattered, having said all I needed.
To be free...to be happy...to be authentic.
...and something prompts me I am not that wrong...

I remember you

I remember you. Mom remembers you even more often. When we pass by places we were together. When we meet with your wife and deink for you. When we simply see you in our dreams. We remember you. We smile when we do. We cry when we do.
I remember once you took mom to visit me when I was in a camp in Tsaghkadzor. Everyone thought you were my dad. Because, in a way, you were. You werethe one to take me to Sevan for the first time. You were the one to be next to my mom when she lost her relatives. You were the one to ve my mom's best friend, boss, brother for almost three decades. You were special. To all of us. And I am so sorry it takes death to acknowledge this, but noone will ever look at me the way you did - That's Armenakovna's girl look is stamped on my forehead.
You were generous towards me, both psychologically and financially, and maybe because I never expected or asked or accepted most of your givings, you admired me so much. You used to boast everywhere I was special. You made me feel special.
I will always remember my birthday in your summer house. What a party it was! What fun we had!
I lost my second father when I lost you. You were like a second dad to me. We live without you. But we remember you. I remember you. I feel you. Thank you for being next to my family for the way you were thgough all and always.
Happy Birthday! I will always remember you! I will make sure my children know about your beautiful presence in our lives.

Rules that never fail to work

Looking down (:-)) from my 26 years of experiencing this beautiful life, analyzing my fulfilling relationships with the world and its dwellers, I have figured out a couple of unwritten rules that never fail to work:
-  One can never be equally successful in three ,major spheres of their life - everything is great either with your personal life, or academic-professional, or social. Running after balance helps temporarily only.
- The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Now let me paraphrase this for those who are polite and beware the word that starts with F. The less you care about stuff, the more the stuff cares for you. This refers to everyone and everything.
- What goes around comes all the way back around. Just the way it was sent. Just at times you never expect.
- Friends never say goodbye. Time washes away the friends we do not need, and keeps the people we need at hand's reach.
-Notice the signs. They come through people, music, street advertising. Ask the question, and the answer will catch up.
- Love exists. It is inside of us. Some nice or not very nice people help us reveal it, but the feeling is all inside. One can never lose a beloved one. The beloveds are in our hearts, and as far as they want it, they will be there, even when not at hand's reach anymore.
- Happiness is routine. Walking with someone, talking to someone, loving someone are daily practices. This is happiness.
Yes, I am super experienced in life. I am one who makes mistakes understanding the consequences and enjoying the moments. I know all the rules, I advise people, and I never act accordingly. I do it consciously.

Երեկ լիալուսին էր

Գիրք էի կարդում, մեկ էլ աչքս լուսնին ընկավ։ Էնքան մեծ ու սիրուն էր լուսինը։ Կլոր, պայծառ, ամպերի մեջ սիրուն փաթաթված։  էնքան սիրուն լիալուսին էր, որ ուզեցա զանգեմ սիրելիիս ու ասեմ, որ ինքն էլնայի, էն էլ մտքովս անցավ, որ առանց ասելու էլ կնայի, ու տենց ավելի ռոմանԾիկ ա։ Նայեցի ու իմ Լուսնին հիշեցի, կարոտեցի։ Ու հիշեցի, որ ինքն իրա ամերիկաներում նույն իմ լուսնին ա նայում։ Նայեցի Լուսնին ու ասեցի, որ իմ Լուսնին շատ եմ սիրում։ Առավոտյան տեսա, որ ինքն էլ էր հենց էդ պահին մտքերով իմ հետ. սիրուն բաներ էր գրում, գրում էր, որ կարոտում ա։ Դու իմ Լիալուսինն ես, գանձս։ Քեզ սիրում-միրում եմ։ Շուտ հետ արի, որ էլի երկար-երկար իրար հետ լացենք))

Adverb practice

I want you to love me desparately,
All forgivingly, promise keepingly,
I will waitingly, go have funingly,
We'll come cleaningly, we'll live happily.

I will hopefully find you luckily
Looking at me lovingly, kissing my lips angrily,
Holding my wrests calmingly,
Taking me home unwillingly.

Love me tenderly, call me secondly,
Hug me hurtingly, smell me hungrily,
Love you foreverly, see you everywherely,
Meant to be togetherly!

Lagom

Lagom is a beautiful Swedish word which stands for "just enough, in moderation". Concidentally, I happened to entounter this word as I was arranging my life according to the lagom rule -just enough of work, just enough of sport, just enough of fun, just enough of reading, just enough of everything. I am a critical person, either all or none, love me or leave me. But this new challenge seems to take over me, it is like an obsession to cope with it. It is very difficult to reach lagom,  but once you do, the complete contentment takes you to the  Heavenly relaxation and satisfacrion of the mind and soul.
Coincidentally, as I am slowing down to fox moderation, my Taurusnyak advises me to live like they do in her new country - slowly, and letting things happen.
Lagom is cool.
Lagom is amazing.
Slow down. Enjoy moderation.
P.S. fails to work for chocolate, though))

Signs

I am not sure if it has always been like this, or maybe I am just seeing what I want to see, but it has been a good week every single thing around me talks to me. By sign language. I ask questions to myself or my friends or my family or my beloved, and my everyday life answers them...by means fo random people's remarks in the shop or bus, songs, Facebook posts, movies that appear to be on TV T that very moment and on that very scene.
I am afraid of these signs. They support me to do wreckless things, wreckless things that will make me completely happy...I am afraid of the signs.