Sometimes we are left alone - we have to walk alone, think alone, listen to music alone. This is destined for the one who needs to take her time.
Today I was left alone: neither my mom, nir my friend agreed to walk with me. But I was desparately committed to take the walk. So, I changed my trousers, put on my favourite gray cardigan with long edges that everyone except forme hates, put my earphones and nleft home.
I had some garbage to dispose of, and with that plastic bag I seemed to pget rid of some of my negative feelings I had accumulated throughout the last year, month, week, day, hours,minutes...whatever..and then I went to the street...and it started to rain, as if the sky wanted to hint me something....something like " I will wash away your worries, darling". And I allure to quit my wish and go home my earliest possible...and then I thought " A couple of drops of water...what will happen to me? I am not sugarno melt!" So I did not give up. I kept on walking. Walking away. And then my favourite songs followed one another. And when I reached the next block, there was this mystic coincidence of me listening to the song and seeing that really handsome guy walking towards me, looking just like me - with earphones, same mood, same look, same style, same vibes, same colours. He is looking at me, and I am looking at him, and non of us decides to come along and talk. Happens often, right? Two people walk past each other, they like each other, there is this special instant they feel something, and then it is gone -passed. And then I look back, and he looks back at me. I turn, widen my teeth with braces in the sweetest content smile and continue my way. And for some reason I need mire air, and more freedom - so I uncross my hands from around my chest, upen the cardigan, put hands in p my pockets, and start singing along the songs. The wind plays with my hair, eyes, smile and heart. I got some vibes from that guy, some vibes I might have ususally ignored, but at that very moment I needed him to show me that A random stranger could share that special moment. Somebody who I do not know, and somebody who knows nothing about me and who I will probably ever see again gives me the vibes I beg from everyone, starting from close friends and ending with distant relatives.
And then I go kn walking, listening to Nina Simone and Edith Piaf - the women who are supposed to know what love is, And then I start thinking about love. Did I experience it? Did I really love the three men I think I loved? Was that love. Was that attraction? Connection of souls? Or maybe, how I love to label it, mutually beneficial symbiotic relationship? And then I think of my future? Will I ever be able to love again? Have I loved in the past? How do you know that it is love!?
We read about it. We listen about it in the songs. But who knows what that is!? Is it when you choose that person over anyone? Or is it when you cannot live without talking to that person a single day? Or is it when you want to share the good the bad and everything with him? Which are the boundaries of love? What prerequisites do youneed to have the chance to experience one?
I don't know. But I know I do nto believe in coincidences. Am I a fatalist? I don't think so. Am I religious? Hardly would I be. I am just addicted to astrology and my birth chart prerequisites. But how do the stars design our future? And how can we change anything?
Is that the guy again! Is this real? I can't feel my legs, I become a big heartheat. There are no coincidences. He is smiling at me, I am smiling at him, we stop as we reach each other. In a few seconds the stranger sends me his first text on my messenger, -Hi! I'd like to join you. Why in English? Coincidence? I don't think so.
