Parallelly

I am texting, he is sleeping, she is drinking coffee, they are dreaming.
Life is so rich in its chances. We all have equal opportunities- according to our merits and capacities. Just some of us seize every vague one, and some of us blow every fantastic one. Yet, many many things happen at the same time.
I usually remember this simultaneous reality on a plane, but this time I remembered it because I felt me and my precious friend doing the same thing at the same time without sharing the important news- we were thinking of each other.
My friends are so interesting. One of them tells about her newly born kid only, the other shares her wisdom, the third just demands my constant existence, the forth wants me there for hanging outs only. But they all have their parallel moments of living, the ones connected with me.
It has always been interesting for me to stop for a second and realise how many things might be changing at that very moment- time is so powerful.
Time is powerful indeed. It changes out value systems, relationship bonds, job preferences, and everything parallelly, without even reporting to us.
The parallel reality is there at every second, and I can but notice and feel the changes they bring to the ones precious to me.
And yes, I wanted to mention the parallel love I give and get during my teaching. This subconscious bucket of devotion always coming back to me is another parallel reality. 
We do not need to utter everything, some things are felt with the heart. Sorry for crappiness.
Just notice the parallel reality and enjoy the subconscious energy flow.

Principles and Actions

They are interconnected, that is true. But which one is the boss? Do we act in a specific way because our  principles guide us, or do our principles form based on the situation and previous life experience?
As we got acquainted, my acquaintance mentioned in a conversation she does not like using people. Already knowing her zodiac sign, I could not help but grin in a very wicked manner. Sure, I was right. Every single thing she has done since that day has proved her maneuvering people like puppets, making them serve her, meet her demands, even if that led to the inconvenience of the formers. It is not delegating tasks through people, it is using people. The worst type of symbiotic relations ever. I gave myself a chance to try it- making people do something at my convenience. Even in the cases when people expressed strong eagerness to serve, my inner self could not afford the luxury. I am not that type. Is that good? Not sure.
My friend things people should keep contacts with those who they might need in the short, medium or long run... Hmm...How do they realize who might be needed in the future and who not? I am again illiterate and inexperienced, but I pamper myself to try. What's the outcome? I keep in touch with everybody, but this is not coming from me. They need me. The have various requests for me- from translating to shopping for them. And I eagerly do and end up being the one people want to keep in touch because I might help them. Do I learn any lesson from this? Never.
When it comes to me, I cannot practice these. I want to, I realize the ease they bring, but I cannot. It is not because my principles are rebellious. It is because my actions form my principles nourished by the past experience.
My priority is my inner comfort, to know I was not a burden. This is my principle.
Is this good? Not sure.

People who take photos and people who notice the moment

It is trendy now. We take photos of our looks, beautifully arranged table, nicely held hands, weeding ceremony, concerts, proper make-up and Ararat. But a few really notice the beauty and value of the things their lens is capturing. So what is the aim of capturing it? Very few people and very rarely find mood and nerves to have a third or forth look at their beautiful photos they have taken with so much effort.

Living in the moment and noticing the moment-no need for the smart device to capture, the brain and heart will seize the chance. 

Seeing through the device is beautiful, noticing without interventions of any kind, technical or physical, is still incomparable.

Yours and none's

The strange circle of busy life takes me to a stage of being too busy with routine small tasks that I do not focus on the personal and interpersonal issues I would otherwise prioritize. Well, still, everything does fall in its place and in the long run, people who deserve get all of me. Simply, now it happens so that I automatically edit my people. The ones who really need, appreciate and love me,get all of me, the others get the moral morsel and that is it.
I catch myself on being remoted from things, situations and people I care so much, I am just too busy figuring myself out to figure everyone else out. The drama is that now everyone is happy with me, starting from me.
And I will never understand how it happens so that when I am selfish and self-centered I get more love and appreciation,than when I sacrifice my time and energy and love for the sake of others'.
Noone can lose anyone, since noone belongs to one. Me either.

The city smells like you

I am in the taxi commuting to Yeghegnadzor, and at the crossroad the car has a meeting with the red lights, and I get an uncharted meeting with my memories. The park on the left has the memories of you and me. And I go deep. Usually, my routine takes all my time I might have spent thinking about us otherwise. But now I have nothing else to get me busy. And I fall into the traps of loving you, letting you take care of me, hold my heart, arm and hair. I let you hold my hair knowing well enough that hair is a lady's strength. I willingly let you take my strength from me, since I need none when next to you. You have given me all I needed and more. The songs so ours, the hugs so powerful, the looks so long, the touches so randomly casual, and the time so precious. You are the one next to whom I feel week, who I obey and consider when making decisions. You are the one I count on and you never never let me down. I hope there will be no crossroads again, but, believe it or not, the city has your memories in every secret and public corner of it. And I am so happy about it. When the time comes when there will be no you next to me, and even no me next to you, I will refer to the ity, who has seen our happy moments and who keeps our images on every wall.

Sept. 26th, 2015

The Art of Leaving it

Dozens of articles have warned me about the importance to let go of things I wanted to happen, promising that as soon as I did change the focus of my attention the aimed man would be interested in me in return , the wanted job offer would appear and the detested extra weight would melt away. I used to nod my head and believe in it, feeling determined to follow the advice. Yet, I never actually did.
I have no idea how and when I actually did start, but now I really practice it- I want it, I leave it, I get it, I enjoy it.
Heavens, it rocks! Let this last forever!

On Being Happy

When was that? The day I decided the PHD in the Institute of Language was a waste of time and energy or the day I felt admiration in His eyes or the day my Mom realized I was an adult already or the day I started to avoid telling my personal life to people...but one day I started being happy. It expressed in my unsurpassed energy level-the amount of work I do per day equals the amount my friends do in three..and still I have energy and willingness to do more...I am healthy...I manage everything...
Maybe it was the day I decided to appreciate relationships and work on them till the last straw, when I became happy. Now I easily forgive, and ask for apologies and often simply do not notice stuff...
Maybe it was the day I felt absolute intimacy with my parents, best friends or God...that I started to live fearless..
Maybe it was the day my Astrologist gave me answers to all mt questions that I Became fearlessly happy and started to curve my future knowing that stars know nothing when I live right.
Maybe it was the first time I realized money is nothing when you have noone to spend on...when I started to love money...I am not afraid to confess money does make me happy.
Whatever that was, whenever that was, I pray this feeling to stay forever, because now, typing this after getting up at 6.30, commuting for some 135kms,  teaching for nine consecutive hours with no proper meal,  then at last having the anticipated dinner at my favourite super cheap and tasty cafe In Yeghegnadzor I cometo my apartment, talk to my mom, best friends and some acquaintances, I feel absolute, undivided happiness listening to smooth jazz, eating my fav white sunflower seeds and closing my eyes for the celebration of my happy life.