I want to make a memory

Meet my Expectations

Shakespeare urges us to live with no expectations. The more your expect, the less satisfied in your relationships you appear. But is it really possible not to expect a parent to prepare surprises in return, a partner to call the moment you need him, a friend to be there for you whenever you feel like? Or what is the reason we expect people to behave in a particular way? Is it not selfish? Is it not immoral (wink, wink))?
The drama of my happy self is having too high standards and expectations from people I love. It feels good to console my ego with the idea that I expect from those I give a lot. But to be fair, I expect because I am a weak, silly young lady with a distinct inferiority complex cherished from the childhood of an abandoned by the dad kid. I need people I love to love me in return, to love my like the last day. I do not take into account they have their lives, everyday problems and personal stuff. I do not take this into consideration, because when it comes to me, I give them myself, unconditionally, rain or sun. But do they really need this all? Or do I need it?
This typical pattern in my life of finding a person to synchronize with, to devote myself to the relationship and get fucked up because People do not always have the nerves, time, eagerness to meet my expectations and they should not, actually. And then I piss off and quit. I hate myself for this. This awful moments I weep into the pillow scratching my teeth and listening to my fave songs, and in just four minutes I come back to reality.
Nobody needs to meet your expextations. And if you do something expecting an answer, is that love or lent attitude? Is it not more selfish than actually being arrogant and unresponsive ?
Too many questions...Easier said than done...
I am still going to give my best to any relationship. Feel empty. Give and expect. I cannot live otherwise. I am a fabulous, strong, independent woman who is a little, abandoned, fat kid with this stupid complexes tracing my happy self every now and then.
Please, do not meet my expctations. Let me work on it and grow, let me overcom myself, let me be stronger.

Alpha males vs Alpha females

I have been giving some thoughts to whether it is good to be an Alpha female or no. When talking on this, all my male students expressed their eagerness to assassin their Alpha type partners, and me, being a distinguished one myself.
Some years ago, after being told I was too good and too strong for the presumably #loveofmylife man, I decided to stop being Alpha, to be regular. For him. Oh yes, I tried. I tried a lot. Like being this modest, obedient thing to make males feel powerful and strong, and hack, this really is not the best feeling. The illusion of power. The phantom of obedience. The good Alpha Female rules the situation so the male feels Alpha even when he is not....Damn it. No. The proper Alpha Female does not decrease her expectations to make the man next to her feel good, she just gets the right man next to her and it originally becomes harmonic. The proper man can easily tame an Alpha woman. She will give in willingly. #trustmeiamexperienced.
I am for Alpha women. I believe in a harmonic, almost equal unity of two Alphas in a partnership.
It is not Alpha Male vs Alpha Female. It is Alpha Male feat Alpha Female.
#MyMan #My

Alpha